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Yuletide Letter 2015

Dear Yuletide Author,

Hope you're seeing this, and sorry for the delay in posting a letter.

Thank you for writing for me! I'm not that difficult to please, and I'm sure I will like anything you come up with for these. I don't have a lot to add to what I said in my sign-up (and there's only one fandom here I've never requested before - I do tend to repeat myself), but there are some general likes/dislikes and a few more fandom details below:

General likes and dislikesCollapse )

By Fandom:

She-RaCollapse )

ElementaryCollapse )

Jesus Christ SuperstarCollapse )

GreekCollapse )

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In other news, is anyone out there to talk about the Scream TV show? Because I'm finally watching it, and the first episode was everything I ever wanted, and then in the second episode, they stepped right into spoilersCollapse ). It really undermined their whole trope-subversion thing, so I am disappointed on a meta and narrative level as well as just being tired of spoilerCollapse ). I don't know how I managed to get so invested one episode in, but the premiere was so spot on.

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Ten Years On

I was doing so well with keeping up with DW, and then suddenly it's the end of August. Ah, well.

But I always do feel like I want to check in around this time of year, and say I'm okay. I guess I don't, always. Looking back at the archives, I haven't posted on or around the Katrina anniversary in three years. I can't believe it's 2015. I don't know who all is still even reading this, but ten years ago my fandom friends (you guys) were a lifeline for me, and that's always been important.

I am okay. I read almost none of the 10-year anniversary coverage, and I feel a little disconnected from it. I've been gone so long I don't know the day-to-day well enough to know what's real and what's sensationalism. I'm not a local, anymore, not really, and even though there are still days I miss it so much I can't breathe, it also becomes clearer and clearer that I'm not going back, at least not any time soon. Admitting that feels like abdication of responsibility and a little bit of my right to claim New Orleans as home the way I do, though I do still feel that way about it, the city of my heart. I was only there six years, but it felt more like home in the first month than DC ever has. I love my life here because I love my people here, but I feel no affinity for the city. I've never felt like I belong in this place. In NOLA it was often the other way around. If I'm not going to live there (and right now I'm still not) I do need to go back more often and see for myself and non-Mardi Gras/holiday time how things are.

I was talking to an old friend/lover from NOLA the night of the anniversary about how weird it is to think that it's been ten years since the storm. It feels both like it can't possibly have been that long, and also like everything has happened since then. I was such a mess then. I wasn't even out yet, then. Who was that girl? When I think about it in terms of where I was in my life it feels like so much longer. And I think I would be very different if it hadn't happened. I would probably be in a very different place. We all have those moments all the time, probably, one thing happens on one day and your future falls like dominoes, but it was so visible a rupture, and so out of my (everyone's) control, and changed everything. It's weird to think about. I like my life a lot now. That's not something I take comfort in, really, because it doesn't mitigate anything that happened but I guess I do take some comfort in resilience - my own, my friends', the city's. Not everything happens for a reason, and it doesn't mean anything except what we make it mean. I'm comfortable with that.

This weekend I went to the beach with six friends from grad school, who are some of my best friends in the world. I feel like I've known them all forever, and I didn't know any of them ten years ago. It was a good weekend. Saturday I thought about the storm a lot, and had a couple of really surreal moments, and processed, at least a little bit, with many of my NOLA friends. I also lay in the sun, and had the best scallops I have ever had IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, and got tipsy with good friends, and ate ice cream on the beach at midnight. I had a really good day. I have good people. Here, there, on the Internet, in my life. :) I'm lucky.

Ten years. I don't even know.

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So I finished Origins and now I'm playing Dragon Age II. (I'm a completist, I can't just skip to Inquisition, so I will be playing all of them. I played ALL of the DLC in Origins too. Also, my brother gave me all of Mass Effect for my birthday. HELP. There is a reason I have spent years only playing Halo. That reason is my time-management skills, or lack thereof).

ANYWAY. I love the games but I'm still kind of fascinated by how fic in those fandoms works. I need to actually read some instead of just wondering about it, but, like, I was talking to a gamer friend (non-fannish) and explaining to her about how there is DA fic, and she said that with DA:II at least you're always Hawke, so maybe it's more of a shared experience? And I hadn't played it yet, so I was like, "yeah, maybe." But now I am playing it, and okay, maybe it's easier in some ways, because you have fewer choices than in Origins (and Inquisition?), but also the family relationships are so central to who your character is in the game and the choices Hawke makes.

Dragon Age II spoilers, if anyone caresCollapse )


In other news, some grad school friends and I have a Bad Book Club (which is really more for "trashy" books I guess, they haven't all been bad though some have), for which we are currently reading After. I have academic and fannish thoughts, like I have those same thoughts about 50 Shades of Grey, but I also have pragmatic thoughts, like "what is the best way to identify what text I should write a massive, mediocre Mary Sue AU about to get a six-figure book deal?" I feel like step one is learn how to use Tumblr. I'm working on that.

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[who was i trying to be?]

My air conditioning is out at my house, and while this doesn't bother me like it does my roommates because I run cold, so it has to get HOT before I'm really uncomfortable, I still find that the heat is sapping my energy and making me sluggish. Also possibly making me crankier than usual at my coworkers? I don't know. It's Monday and I'm always cranky at them, so it could just be that.

Anyway, I have a lot of shit to do, and I don't want to do any of it.

So instead of doing any of it, I've been listening to Panic! at the Disco's new song on repeat, by which I mean Brendon Urie's new song, because Panic! at the Disco now consists only of Brendon Urie, and having feelings, by which I mean anger, mostly, at the fact he's so talented and the fact I still care and it took me about 5 seconds to develop an elaborate headcanon about this song that I don't even want to talk about.

ETA: While we're on the subject of how upsetting current and former members of Panic! at the Disco can be, I'm just gonna leave this here.

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Per my last post, trying to use Tumblr again has so far just led to a two-day long spiral into the depths of The Johnlock Conspiracy. I don't know why. I don't care about BBC Sherlock at all. Like, I actually don't care. Not like hockey, where I say I don't care, but I'm lying. I actually don't care; I haven't watched the show since the second season. And yet, I am fascinated. And so goes the clear danger of Tumblr, I suppose.

It is a gorgeous day that I have spent being incredibly lazy. I have such a long to-do list, just in things I have to do in my personal life and for church volunteering and stuff, not even counting work shit. And just no motivation to do anything but sit in the sun and be grateful it is finally April.

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Okay, I am trying this Tumblr thing one more time, but actually under redbrickrose this time. (There's nothing there yet. Last time I tried to do this was, like, three years ago and I had the whole thing curated so that my entire dash was pictures of Gabe Saporta and Naya Rivera. Not that there's anything wrong with that aesthetically, but it's not a great approach for actually acquiring fannish information).

If you're on Tumblr, where do I find you?

Also, the last time I tried and failed to use Tumblr was nearly three years ago. I don't even know how it's April of 2015. I'm having having a very real internal crisis about how fast the last two years have gone.

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I realized I've never posted pictures of my new cat, so here he is, looking very dignified.Collapse )
He's not dignified; he's a disaster. I just locked him out of my office for being a terror, so he's probably downstairs destroying something now.

I feel like most of what is going on in my life involves work these days, so that's what I start to talk about when I try to post, but even I am super bored by that topic.

Here are some other things. They are all about bandom.

* A couple weeks ago [personal profile] inlovewithnight sent me this: Z Berg, in lingerie, talking about kissing girls at Coachella. Where was that quote when we were all writing The Like fic?! Apparently her new band has an album coming out this year, though. I didn't know she had a new band, so I'm psyched about that.

* Also a couple of weeks ago, I saw Greta's new band, Springtime Carnivore with [personal profile] jrho. They were kind of weird, but great. I've had the album on repeat in my car pretty much since the show. J knows Greta through some other fandom friends, so we ended up chatting with the band at the end. I am always really awkward in those kinds of situations, but Greta was super sweet, and the rest of the band was really friendly. They all seemed to be having SO MUCH FUN on tour, and their enthusiasm was great.

* Despite being completely fannishly out of the loop about everything, I somehow managed to see Spencer's note about leaving Panic yesterday pretty much right after it was posted. From the very little I've been paying attention, it seems like that was a long time coming. Mostly, I just found it a little weird how he talks about his memories of the band like they bear any resemblance to what is going on with the band now. Maybe they do, I don't know his life. But, like, Ryan's been gone for years, and isn't Brendon's all that's left at this point? Is Dallon officially a member now? I don't even know. But he's all "the band is going to continue to do great things!" "The Band" is Brendon, and he's proooobably going to be even more of an embarrassment without even Spencer to keep him in check. This is my prediction. Which is not to say I didn't kind of love To Weird to Live, To Rare to Die. I did.

* Semi-relatedly, where the fuck is Ryro's solo album?

* I really, really miss Cobra Starship. Just putting that out there.

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Every time I go to catch up on Suits I spend the next three days fruitlessly shaking the internet in the hope that Harvey/Mike fic that actually works for me will fall out. Every time, I am disappointed.

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Happy Lundi Gras from NYC

Happy Mardi Gras weekend all! I am in NYC for a friend's bachelorette party, rather than in New Orleans. I did Mardi Gras up BIG last year since my 30th birthday was on Big Sunday, so the plan is to maybe take a few years off to save vacation time for other things (case in point - long NYC bachelorette party weekend), but it's still a little sad. It's the second Mardi Gras I've missed since I was 18.

This weekend has been AWESOME, though, even if it is 4 degrees. (And I packed really inappropriately, so I am currently wearing all of my clothing and still freezing. Why is this happening.) We did boozy brunch and private Museum Hack tour of the Met. We also saw Fifty Shades of Grey, like you do. (We have a bad book club, we read Fifty Shades. It's a whole thing. I have thoughts, but that's probably it's own post).

Anyway, here's a meme from [personal profile] romantical. She gave me the letter G.

Something I hate: Government contracting. Boom.

Something I love: Gabe Saporta. Obvs. I have a feeling she was expecting that answer.

Somewhere I've been: Galveston, TX. The summer I graduated from high school, two friends and I road-tripped down there and camped on the beach. It was really my first road trip with just my friends, where we could do whatever we wanted. My main memories are of skinny-dipping at night. Leaving our suits on the beach and swimming out as far as we could, until everything was darkness and pinpricks of light, the stars and the glow from shore and us in the warm Gulf water. Sooooo dangerous. Sooooo not what we were supposed to be doing. But beautiful, and really liberating in a way. One of those moments when everything is potential and you're struck by just how big the world is.

Somewhere I'd like to go: The Galapagos Islands, Ecuador. My favorite cousin is an art historian who does a lot of work with Ecuadorian art and architecture, so she and her husband keep an apartment in Quito. My mom and I went down for 10 days last October, and it was wonderful, but we barely made it out of Quito, since there was so much to see. I'm already planning to go back, hopefully next time hopefully with enough money/time that I can go to the Galapagos too.

Someone I know: I don't know that many people whose first name starts with G, I don't think, or I'm just blanking. I have a lot of friends whose last names do. One of my best friends from grad school's last name is Gamwell. He's in San Francisco now, though we just spent New Year's together in New Orleans. When strangers ask how we met, we say it's through our exes, who used to be fuck buddies. That's a very flippant answer, and its not a full picture of the dynamic that was going on there, but it's still pretty true.

A film I like: I wanted to pick something that isn't also a book, so probably Ghost. Such a cheesy choice, and again there are others, but that's one I loved as a kid. My friends and I would have sleepovers and watch it over and over again - like three-four times in a night. Just rewind it when it ended and start over. I probably haven't seen it in 14-15 years, but I bet I still know all the dialogue by heart.

A book I like: Gone Girl I'm sure there are others if I think harder, but I just read this a few months ago, and it stayed with me. Because I loved it so much. :( It is everything I love. :( They're such terrible people who deserve each other. :( My favorite dynamic; I ship it so hard. :( Something is so wrong with me. :((

Anyway, leave a comment and I'll give you a letter!

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By posting today, I will have posted the same number of times this month as I did in all of 2014. Of course, that's only three. But still. Progress.

I listened to the new Fall Out Boy album, and I like it. I don't like ALL of it, but I don't usually like every song on any album. I like most of it, and I love some of it, and mostly it just sounds like Fall Out Boy. I like "The Kids Aren't Alright" and "Jet Pack Blues" and "Favorite Record" and "Fourth of July." In my head "Centuries" is a vampire AU or yet another bandom song that should someday be a The Vampire Lestat fanvid. I have a list I'm saving for someday in the future when there is actually source for said vids.

I continue to play a lot of Dragon Age: Origins and I have thoughts.Collapse )

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I have been back in DC for a couple of weeks, and have more or less spent that time obsessively playing Dragon Age and playing with my new cat, who I brought back from North Carolina where he'd been living on my friend's sunporch. It's nice to have the company because the flipside of telecommuting giving you the flexibility to travel is telecommuting giving you the opportunity to become a reclusive shut-in. January, my nemesis. We meet again.

Fannish things, in bullet points
1. I continue to be in a pretty drawn out dry-spell, though I'm hoping to at least have a bit of a bandom resurgence if/when Cobra finishes their album and tours because I am always and forever there for Gabe Saporta. If I'm in town, I'm going to try to get to the Fall Out Boy tour this summer also.

2. Also, always and forever there for Dana Scully, so if the X-Files Reboot happens, my high school friends and I are actually talking about all road-tripping home to have an old-school X-Files party like we used to in high school. It might be terrible, but it almost doesn't even matter, I am so overwhelmed by nostalgia feelings. (For anyone not aware, "home" is, in fact, Roswell, NM, which makes it better).
2a. It's really more of an abbreviated, much-delayed 10th season than a reboot, right? "Reboot" to me implies recasting and reimaging. Which I would also watch. Anyway.

3. Speaking of texts that defined my adolescence and are now back in my life, I've been co-sleeping with my copy of Prince Lestat for a month, but am too afraid it's going to be a disappointment to read it.

4. I'm behind on things I feel like I would otherwise have more fannish feelings about, notably The Vampire Diaries and White Collar. I accidentally spoiled myself for the end of White Collar,though, and it sounds like the ending was PERFECT. I very rarely feel that way about TV show finales, so I need to get caught up. And then I need to learn to vid so I can make my series of Neal Caffrey character study vids to Jakob Dylan songs.

5. I am going to finish the hockey fic I have been writing for a year and a half, probably post it under a pseud, and move on with my fucking life. God.

Otherwise, I play a LOT of video games, mostly FPS, but I have moved on to RPGs. (The reason I didn't play RPGs is I KNOW how obsessive I am and I knew if I started I would get sucked in and that's all I would do. I wasn't wrong). I also still watch a good deal of television, the more over-the-top and ridiculously convoluted, the better. Like, I watch Revenge and think "but this could maybe be a little more melodramatic, tho." So that's where I am.

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Happy New Year!

Yuletide reveals happened!

I wrote: once had a grip on everything - Faking It; Karma/Amy


It has been a low key, relaxing day of good food, copious booze and great friends in a place I love. Here's to beginning the year as you mean to go on.

Happy New Year to all of you! Wishing you great things in 2015.

I don't make resolutions, really, but I am going to try to be around fandom more. I miss you guys. ♥

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A few Yuletide recs

I am in New Orleans with friends for New Year's, and it is great, especially because I am going to miss Mardi Gras this year for the second time since I moved there when I was 18.

Before I came to NOLA, I spent two weeks visiting my family and a week in Charlotte, NC visiting a childhood friend before her wedding. By the time I get back to DC I'll have been gone a month. Full-time telecommuting continues to be a fucking game-changer. The trade-off is I work longer hours than I ever have in my life, but most of the time it's worth it.

Anyway, hi! I hope you all are well and everyone celebrating had a good Christmas. Mine was lovely and low-key. I spent it reading a lot of Yuletide fic, and letting my brother talk me into watching the entire Saw series so I would believe him that as a whole it has satisfying narrative arc. My family has the best bonding activities.

Speaking of Yuletide:

I got The Comfort of Home, for Lynn Flewelling's Nightrunner Series. This was a charming little slice-of-life moment for Alec and Seregil. The fic does a great job of capturing the affection, playfulness and respect that's really at the heart of their dynamic.

A couple other recs, all femslash (do we still do rec lists here? Where am I? What year is it?):

1) The individual in All Possible Forms; Orphan Black
The Cosima POV is really great here - the way she thinks about the others and Delphine and herself. Cosima's my favorite and I just found myself nodding along with every line of this, like yes, she would think that.

2) The Hand that Feeds; Orphan Black
I wasn't going to do two from one fandom, but this fic just struck me. It's dark and it's twisted, but it's spot-on Rachel.

3) never miss a beat (sparking up my heart);Taylor Swift RPF
This is Lorde outside POV on Taylor Swift/Karlie Kloss, and it is so good. Bisexual Taylor Swift is everything to me, but beyond that, the Lorde voice here is vivid and compelling, and the Lorde&TSwift friendship is delightful in every way.

4) a morning sunrise all the time; She Keeps Me Warm - Mary Lambert Music Video
The writing in this is warm and lovely and honest, and there was one conversation that just blindsided me with feelings (in a good way!) This is really, really well done.

5) For Success; Scandal
This is an AU where Mellie is president and sleeping with Olivia instead of Fitz, and every word is perfect. I wrote Mellie-centric Scandal fic for Yuletide last year and I was pretty proud of it, actually, but it was not this good, and I did not successfully get Mellie and Olivia to make out, so this is kiiiiind of the fic I wish I'd written.

6) Hexagonal Symmetry; The Good Wife
A huddling for warmth fic, with porn, that takes into account all the issues and baggage between Alicia and Kalinda. My only complaint is that it isn't 50,000 words long. The language here is really vivid, and does a great job of using the setting and the trope to convey Kalinda's state of mind.

7) she might've let you hold your hand in high school (but i'mma show you how to graduate); Faking It
Amy falls in love again, after Karma. This is lovely and gentle, and is really fair and respectful to both Amy and Karma, and treats their friendship as equally important to both of them, even if it's not romantic.

I also wrote femslash (as I do every year except for the year I failed to make Mellie and Olivia make out). I feel like this year's fic was pretty obviously me, but I usually feel that way.

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Yuletide 2014 Letter

*cough* Hello, all! It's that time of year again, when I show up for Yuletide and pretend I know what's going on.

This letter is a placeholder, etc. etc.

In the meantime, hiiiiiii. I hope you all are well. ♥ ♥

UPDATE: Yuletide Requests 2014

Hello, Yuletide author! Thank you for writing for me! Yuletide is one of my favorite fannish activities, and the one thing I commit to every year, even when I'm on the waning side of my fannish participation. I'm sure I will love whatever you write for me.

I don't have a whole lot to add about the specific fandoms to add to my sign-up, but here are some more general things I like/don't like, in case that's helpful:

General likes and dislikesCollapse )

By Fandom:

She-raCollapse )

GravityCollapse )

Nightrunner SeriesCollapse )

Aaaaand, I guess that's it! I thought I requested You're the Worst, but its not showing up on my sign-up, so maybe not. I I had my sign-up open in a couple of tabs - maybe I hit save on the wrong one or accidentally deleted it? WHO KNOWs.

Anyway, all I wanted there was Jimmy/Gretchen forever, being actually in love but still terrible assholes who make terrible choices because assholes in love with each other is my #1 bullet proof kink. [personal profile] inlovewithnight has been telling me "no, but really, watch this show" for awhile now because she really knows me. She was right. Next year, I guess!

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Happy New Year and Yuletide

First: Yuletide

I received & someone's got to fall before someone goes free by brampersandon, Breaking Bad gen in which 5 good things happen to Jesse Pinkman. It is perfect. It is everything I wanted from that prompt - grace and something like forgiveness - done in a way I could actually believe. I was in tears by the time I was half-way through. Perfect for opening Christmas morning. I told my family about it. I made non-fannish friends read it.

I wrote The Ones You Call at Four AM, Scandal gen, a Mellie Grant character study. I didn't even offer Scandal. I matched with my recipient on two other fandoms, but when I saw her prompt, I realized I absolutely should have offered it, just in case someone wanted a Mellie character study, because that was a think that I absolutely needed to write.

So overall, successful Yuletide!

Second: Happy New Year! I rang in 2014 at a bear dance party (because I AM A GOOD FRIEND), and it was certainly an experience.

After two weeks in Birmingham with my parents, I'm in San Francisco for a week visiting a grad school friend who recently moved out here. The ability I have to telecommute with my new job has legit changed my life. Who knew work could not be soul-crushing? I certainly didn't.

I'm feeling optimistic - cautiously, but sincerely - about 2014. Even if I am turning 30 in two months (ahhhhhh). I think having such a chunk of time away was really good and restorative for me, especially at the end of the year where I could really regroup and think. 2013 was okay to me (or at least better than 2012), especially by the end, but it started out dicey and was pretty shitty to a lot of my friends. I'm not sorry to it go, but I'm starting 2014 from a pretty good place, so...here's hoping that's something I can hold onto.

San Francisco has been beautiful and my friend lives in the sunset right by beach, and I could watch the sunset on the beach every day for the rest of my life and be pretty thrilled with that, but it will also be good to be back in DC on Saturday. I miss my life there and my friends, and my back misses my bed after three weeks combined on my parents' terrible futon and an air mattress.

Anyway, I hope you all are well! ♥♥♥

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Fic: Portal

Portal 3
Chell Gen
Spoilers for Portal 2, assumes knowledge of Half-Life

This is totally random, and I only know of one person on my flist who has even played Portal, but just in case it's relevant to anyone's interests! I've sat on this for ages because it's...bigger in my head, but I think it is what it is, and it's time to let it go.

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Yuletide Letter

Yuletide Letter updated for those who like to read them.


Real life update for real as soon as I even decide where to start. I'm doing okay, though. It's been kind of a weird year, but I have a new job that improved things a lot, and I'm hanging in there. Trying to figure out how to work my way back into fandom. :)

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Counting this, I have posted five times in 2013, and I never even posted about Yuletide last year. I suck at fandom.


Last year, I wrote Opened Up My Eyes: The Remix Pitch Perfect; Aubrey/Chloe

I received two fics, both of which were brilliant and amazing and which I would have talked up at the time if I didn't suck at fandom.

The Distance Between Stars Pushing Daisies; Charlotte/Ned/Olive This fic was everything I ever wanted Pushing Daisies to be.

Not Knowing What Will Greet Me gen fic about Mars Rovers that was delightful and also succeeded in making me cry.

So consider this a placeholder for this year's Yuletide letter. (Yuletide Author, above are some examples of things I like!)

Possibly rl updates will follow. How is everyone?

ETA: Yuletide Requests: 2013

First of all, thank you for writing for me! Below are some general likes and dislikes and additional details in case that is a thing that is helpful. I'm sure I will love whatever you come up with!

General Like and DislikesCollapse )

By Fandom:

She-RaCollapse )


House of CardsCollapse )

ElementaryCollapse )

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Hello! Since we last spoke, I went to two phenomenal, emotionally intense Fall Out Boy shows and also realized that I'm now attracted to Patrick Stump since he apparently got shockingly stage hot. So that's new. Also, it was just so, so good to have FoB back. I didn't quite realize I still had FoB feelings to the degree I seem to, but there they were. Feelings and nostalgia for 2007 all over the place. I think it helped that they were having so many feelings. Like, feelings were coming off of the stage in waves; I don't know how anyone could have avoided being affected by it.

The morning after the DC FoB show, I got up at 4:30 and flew to Seattle, where I spent few days with [personal profile] fiercynn, and also saw [personal profile] romantical and some college friends. It was a great time - gorgeous and sunny and warm all weekend, which I have been assured is abnormal, but it was BEAUTIFUL - and obviously it was awesome to see everyone. [personal profile] fiercynn made me watch Due South, I made her watch White Collar, like you do.

Now I'm on my way to the wilds of British Columbia to see my baby cousin graduate from high school. I took the train up to Vancouverearly this morning to meet my parents, who were supposed to fly in from Alabama at noon. That didn't happen and they got rerouted all over the place and are going to end up in Kelowna instead, so they bought me a ticket to Kelowna and texted me the flight info before I crossed the border and lost cell reception. Then I spent all day wandering aimlessly and phonelessly around Vancouver snarking at Twitter whenever I had WiFi. Most bars had WiFi, so by "wandering aimlessly through Vancouver," I mostly mean "pub crawling along Gastown/the Waterfront." Responsible life choices!

Now I'm at a new bar in the Vancouver airport, waiting for my puddle jumper to Vancouver, substituting beer for Klonopin, and pretending I'm not watching hockey. Later I may see if this WiFi signal is strong enough to download the Teen Wolf season premiere, so, you know. I hope you're pleased with yourself, Fandom.

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disaster girl

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